Episode 07-Determining Schedules and Visitation

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There are a lot of factors to think about when determining your visitation schedule for your blended family.  

 

You and your partner will already have a divorce agreement set in place that determines your basic schedule or agreement on visitation.  Once you blend families, you will need to decide how to make that work for everyone.  

 

The big question is, should you have all of the kids from both sides share visitation or keep them separate.

 

First you want to look at how all of the kids get along together.  If they fight excessively and cannot resolve their differences, you may want to keep them separated.  However, you must keep in mind that in order for them to get over their differences, they need an opportunity to get to know each other better.  If step siblings do argue, you must remember that this is just as normal as biological siblings fighting.  The main thing is that you don’t let that come between you and your partner.

 

Also consider the quality time you have with your children.  If having all of the kids together is hard because the kids feel slighted, you could separate them in order to have more on on one time with them.  Though this isn’t the best option because they may never learn the importance of equality in the home.  A better way around this is to sneak quality time in when you can, even if it is short.  Take a child with you when running an errand or plan an alone meal with them.  This is usually all kids need to get that connection they crave.

 

Most important of all, think about your time with your partner, and insuring that you both get a chance to connect as a couple. If you never have the kids together, chances are you will never get a break, unless you have a great babysitter lined up.  It’s nice when you have a weekend to yourself, and you can plan your visitation that way.

 

No matter what you decide, you can adjust your schedule as needed.  Try different options until you figure out what works best for your family.

 

Comment on the show notes if you have any helpful advice to share on this topic.

 

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