Episode 06-Establishing House Rules

When you move in together, It is really important to have a guideline of rules for the home.  This will insure that everyone knows what is expected of them.  There are rules for parents, rules for children, and general house rules.

 

Everything starts with the parents.  You and your partner need to first figure out your own rules, as a couple, in the home.  There are a few standards which should be a given.  This would include keeping an honest and open communication between the two of you.  Also, you should stand united when it comes to issues with the children.  If you do disagree, take it away from the kids.  When you are in front of the children, you must present yourselves as being on the same team, or they will drive a wedge between you both.  Other things you should discuss, is each of your responsibilities in the home, such as who will handle certain tasks, like cooking, cleaning, lawn care, bills, etc.  Last for you as parents, is to decide your own rules for disciplining the children.  You need to figure out how much you will each be involved in the step childrens discipline.  Talk about what you are each comfortable with, before getting into a situation that makes either of you uncomfortable.  

 

For the children, it is hard to establish rules, since in a blended family, children are splitting time between two households.  They often have two sets of rules for each home.  Instead of worrying about the other home, which is not in your control,  instead concentrate on setting rules for your home.  Please look at the attached chore chart for age appropriate chores for the kids.  You can print up a chart for each kid so they can keep track of what is expected of them.  Try to keep things fair, although the kids living with you full time will most likely have some more expectations than the children that only visit on weekends.  

 

Hose rules include things that everyone can agree what is expected from them while they are there.  For instance, respecting one another, no yelling or hitting, and also what happens if someone breaks a rule. You can also set up family rituals such as dinners, or meetings.  Work together to determine a standard of rules for your blended family.  This can and will be adjusted as everyone gets older and more comfortable with each other.  

 

Please comment if you have any tips on rules that you would like to share with the audience.

 

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