Episode 04-Holidays and traditions in a Blended Family

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Blended families face many struggles during the holiday season. There are things you can do make this time less stressful and more peaceful for your family.

The four topics are

1. Religion

2. Traditions

3. Keeping things fair

4. Holiday time sharing

 

Religion

When the family is divided into two religions, the best practice is to allow celebrating both holidays.  Parents and children can learn from one another and expand their culture.  If this is against your religious beliefs, there needs to be an open honest discussion about this.  All parties must respect one anothers beliefs and come to a place of compromise.

 

Traditions

When two families come together, even if both the same religion, many times have an entirely different set of traditions and rituals they follow.  Sit down with your partner and make a list of each of your traditions and decide which are important to each of you.  You can most likely find a way to incorporate them all together.  This is all about compromising.  You can also sit down with the children and vote on it, or allow each family member to pick a tradition they like the most.  Don’t forget, this is the perfect time to discover new traditions that you can start with this new blended family.  If there are believers and non believers amongst the kids, make sure the non believers do not spill the beans to the other kids.

 

Keeping things fair

It is relatively easy to keep things fair in your own home regarding gift giving.  When it comes to what goes on in an ex partners home, we have no control.  Fighting with a partner over this will not help.  If one set of kids receives much more than another set of kids, try as best you can to minimize the extra gifts coming home.  As the children get older and more mature, this will be less of an issue.  

 

Time Sharing

Navigating holiday time sharing is extremely challenging, as you each have a drawn up plan with your ex regarding custody and time sharing.  Usually each of your plans will be different.

You can choose to celebrate your holidays with a split family.  This is easier if the kids are older.  When the kids are young, and if it is important to you to celebrate all as one unit, you can choose a day to celebrate when you will all be together.  This is a day that falls before or after the holiday.  You can get creative with this.

 

It is important to not allow these issues to cause stress and arguments during the holidays.  This should be a time of peace and joy and connectedness.  

 

If you have any tips on how to keep sane during the holidays or how you manage your family schedule? Please comment on the show notes at www.blendedfamilypodcast.com

 

Next Week’s topic is Moving in together, and how to make that a smooth transition.

 

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